It’s that time of year again. Because Christians hijacked a pagan festival all that time ago and turned it into a propoganda event for their belief system, they think they have some right to it. The fact is that most people have long since taken “Christmas” to mean “buy presents, get presents, eat too much, argue with family”. It’s a time of excess and stress and only the merchants in the marketplace really have any reason to celebrate. Yeah, I know, bah humbug.

But the Christians seem to think that they have some right to come and knock on people’s doors and remind them what Christmas is all about. In their minds it’s about the birth of their Christ hero, best described as some kind of cosmic zombie that was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat him and accept him as your master so that he can remove the evil that he put there in the first place. Or something. Yes, I’m being deliberately pertinacious, but there really are people out there that believe this as absolute fact.

Never mind that these same Christians that think they’re reclaiming the “real meaning” of Christmas have never heard of Saturnalia or Sol Invictus. Those fourth century Christians and their hijacking of pagan festivals have a lot to answer for.

But it gets worse than that. Those same god-botherers that have no idea what they’re really talking about, and who can’t seem to seperate allegory from fact and myth from history, came to my door yesterday. The woman even had the cheek to suggest that it was at this time of year that people’s thoughts turned to Jesus. How out of touch can she be? My wife insisted that I not be rude to her, so I simply sent her on her way. But she did leave me something.


The truth, eh? Sorry, the Truth. Capitalising it makes it all the more true. You expect this sort of thing, really, but I couldn’t help being particularly amused in this instance. They’ve really surpassed themselves in sophistry and hubris this time. Look closely at the two paragraphs at the bottom of the pamphlet:


Key points: you might look in books for answers to life’s big questions, but so often books become outdated or are revised or replaced.

And then we have:


The Bible? The book that isn’t outdated or revised is the Bible? I can’t think of a more outdated or revised book in the history of books. Now, I’m all for people believing in the supernatural and higher powers if they want, and seeking the answers to those deep and meaningful questions that keep us awake at night. But the Bible as a book of truth? Seriously, how do these people ever expect anyone to take them seriously. The Bible is a damn good mythology, especially the Old Testament when Yahweh was this tantrum throwing storm god that was all envious and murderous. That’s some good stuff in there. But truth?

You know the best bit? And this is the absolute truth: After I’d shut the door in the Christian woman’s, after showing her the contempt she deserved, she disappeared off with her bible-bashing mates. Shortly thereafter a large Red Bellied Black snake was basking on the flagstones exactly where she’d been standing. First snake I’ve seen this year. Make of that what you will.

Christmas? I’ll be glad when it’s all over. Bah humbug indeed.