Some of the worst word abusers around today are those stone-hearted automatons that run the evil empire of marketing. These people make creating need the cornerstone of their endeavours with no greater purpose than turning a profit, regardless of the impact on people, the environment or anything else. Maybe I’m being a little bit harsh, but I bet some part of you agreed with everything I just said.

But back to the word abuse. These marketing folk turn and twist words to suit their agenda to such a degree that half the time they end up talking gibberish. And it seems that people don’t even notice. Personally I’m surprised that the marketing people, that are effectively English language majors and make a living editing copy, don’t spot such things . Of course, the alternative is that they do spot these things, but don’t care. They just want your money.

Here’s today’s prime example:

Seems like an ordinary pack of six yoghurts? If you can’t see the nonsense, take a closer look and see if you can spot anything completely nonsensical:

Yep, you got it (please, tell me you got it) – Yoplait Original New Thick & Creamy. How on Earth can it be both original and new? The terms, by their very definition, are mutually exclusive. These people in the Yoplait marketing team must have sat down and thought, ‘Let’s call it New and attract some more customers!’

Then some slimy creature at the board table hissed and squirmed and said, ‘But if it’s new, we might lose those current customers already giving us their hard earned dollars!’

Then a third dark-hearted creature, the slimiest of them all, said, ‘So call it “Yoplait Original” to keep the existing customers, then put “New” somewhere on the label to attract new consumers to our brand!’

The first slimy marketer looked suspicious. ‘Surely people will notice that and think us fools?’

To which the slimiest replied with rolls of greasy laughter. ‘Ha! As if the stupid public would notice! Now leave me alone, I’m counting all my money!’

But we did notice, right everyone? And we’re not going to stand for it. We’re going to rise up against such blatant manipulation and word abuse. Make your voice heard.

And in case you need any more convincing that advertising uses complete nonsense to make you think their product is worth your hard-earned, have a look at this guy:

He got a good deal and saved money. That’s like jumping into a swimming pool and getting wet, isn’t it?