This is the Grudge Monkey:

That’s right. Get the fuck out of his way.

I’ve come to an arrangement with the Grudge Monkey – he’s going to take it personally whenever I procrastinate or procrastilax. Therefore, if I’m cocking about when I should be writing, Grudge Monkey is going to come and fuck me up. It’s a fairly serious situation I’ve put myself in, but I’m a terrible procrastinator. All writers are in my experience. So drastic action was required.

From now on, whenever I’m not writing when I should be, wasting my time doing something stupid, Grudge Monkey will get pissed off. Shit! Here he comes!

Dude, get off me! I’m writing. I’M WRITING!