You sometimes can’t help laughing at things that are really quite serious. For example, the thought of Osama Bin Laden arranging the murder of a man in order to have that man’s wife as his own. You think I’m making this up? Not at all.
According to the autobiography of Kola Boof, a Sudanese poet and novelist, old Osama was courting just such an idea. And not just any husband and wife. He was planning to take out Bobby Brown in order to have Whitney Houston. Has truth ever been stranger than fiction?
The perfect couple?
In actions that keep Osama’s integrity as a hardline and devout Muslim completely untainted, he apparently kept Kola Boof against her will as his mistress and would tell her repeatedly about his lust for Whitney. Kola writes, “He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of some day spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar.
“He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum.
“He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives.”
Well, isn’t it good to know that even someone as strict and disciplined as Osama Bin Laden is prepared to break their colour rule for the right girl. Boof also talks in her book about how Bin Laden would “ramble on” about his favourite TV shows, which included The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGuyver, and how, “In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the star [Whitney Houston], as well as copies of Playboy … It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston’s name.”
Boof reports that Osama would constantly espouse, “How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed.”
You have to wonder if Osama still lusts after her which such fervour now.
Perhaps he’ll try to suppress Kola Boof’s book. The Word asks the question: Is Kola Boof the new Salman Rushdie?