I will kill George Lucas with a shovel

My friend Michael over A Nadder put me on to these and I did enjoy them. I have to say, I am in pretty much total agreement. Firstly, from the You AUGHT To Remember blog (wherein I’m hoping, by the capitalisation, that the spelling mistake is deliberate) we have a Cease & Desist letter addressed to George Lucas for crimes against his own previous brilliance during the last decade.

The letter begins:

Dear Mr. Lucas:

It has come to our attention that your actions over the past decade in the production of the films Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones and Star Wars Episode 3: Return of the Sith (hereafter referred to as “Star Bores”) as well as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (hereafter referred to as “Grandpa Jones”) infringes upon the rights of millions of moviegoers to preserve their childhood memories unscathed. This is a clear violation of your contract with the public to create films worthy of the legacy that you, yourself, began in 1977. Your recent actions have been grossly negligent, displaying a complete lack of regard for taste and artistic merit. Star Bores and Grandpa Jones represent a failure to satisfy the duty of care mandated for a filmmaker of your status.

A partial list of the infringing acts are enumerated herein:

You can read on at the blog in question here.

And, in similar vein, we have this. Which pretty much sums it up for me. Although there’s so much more that also require additional strikes of the shovel (midichlorians, for example), but this is plenty to be going on with.

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12 thoughts on “I will kill George Lucas with a shovel

  1. I liked Crystal Skull… it seemed very campy and comic bookish to me. I am NOT ASHAMED. Maybe I should be, but I’m not… so there.

    But Jar Jar Binks… that alone is shovel worthy! Oh, and Queen Amidala/Padme starts off awesome and then turns into this whiny wimpy chick and… oh nevermind. I’ll just rant.

  2. Come on! Episode 1 sucked so much worse than 2 or 3! (Except for the Jedi being such wimps that they were completely wiped out in Episode 3 in, what, 4 minutes?) If nothing else, Natalie Portman’s abs alone carry Episode 2.

    As far as Crystal Skull, I enjoyed it in the same way I enjoy the “Librarian” movies. Silly, campy fun, but not Indiana Jones-caliber film.

  3. Well, all three sequels are equally shit really. I think the only reason Ep 1 didn’t get a mention here was because it was all about the past decade and Ep 1 was 1999. And what are “Librarian” movies?

  4. Ah, right – never heard of those before. I’ll have to have a look. Have a look at the link in my response to ganymeder – seems we largely agree on the Indy thing.

  5. Natalie’s abs? Pulllease. Her character became sooooo annoying.

    “Oh, Anikan, our love can never be (as I walk around in sexy clothes, aren’t I pretty?)… Oh Anikan, I’ll always think of you as that little boy (aren’t I pretty? blink blink).” Gaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

    Oh, and I actually liked her character in Ep1, but then as soon as she gets pregnant she’s hiding in her room all the time. WTH is up with THAT?

    See! I told you I’d start ranting…
    *froths at mouth and runs away*

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