It’s been a while since I shared some non-sensical use of the English language here. My good pal Monika, currently resident of Brisbane, sent me this and I had to share it. Have a look:
Queensland Homicide Victims’ Support Group
Anything strike you as strange about that? It comes from the Brisbane “Inner and Southern Suburbs” Yellow Pages. And let’s be honest, how much support does a homicide victim really need? Talk about locking the barn after the horse has bolted. I bet they would have really liked some support right before they became a homicide victim. Some serious backup right about then would have been fantastic.
Obviously, they do a completely different service. According to their website:
24 hr emotional support, personal advocacy and information to all people affected by homicide throughout Queensland.
But that’s not what they actually say in their name now, is it.
And on the subject of erroneous use of the language, here are a couple of guys that deserve medals. Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson couldn’t help themselves and had to correct the grammar on a sign at the Grand Canyon National Park. “Authorities” (and let’s use that word cautiously) said that Deck kept a diary and in it he had written that he and Herson used a marker to cover an erroneous apostrophe, put the apostrophe in its proper place with correction fluid and added a comma.
There was also a misspelled word (“emense”) that was not corrected by these linguistic vigilantes because, “I was reluctant to disfigure the sign any further. … Still, I think I shall be haunted by that perversity, emense, in my train-whistle-blighted dreams tonight.”
The sign that needed correction
These poor bastards pleaded guilty to conspiracy to vandalise government property and were sentenced to a year’s probation, during which they cannot enter any national park or modify any public signs. (I like the implication that they can modify public signs again once the year is up.) They were also ordered to pay $3,035 to repair the sign. Repair it? Three grand! For a sign that was hand written in the first place? They should have been paid three grand each for their vigilance.