Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight

August 6, 2010
By

I’m a big fan of the site 27b/6. The guy is very funny and sets up all kinds of awesome correspondence where his irreverance holds sway. I’m sure he’s actually a really annoying guy, as one of the commenters (fiona) on his site says:

“i have a feeling that i would want to stab you in real life but on the internet i want to marry you.”

He earns a place on my site here because everything he does is an example of great writing. His turn of phrase is often exquisite. He’s excelled himself with this one and I couldn’t help sharing. The exchange in question begins with this email to his kid’s school’s Christian Volunteer:

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 10 March 2010 7.12pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,

I have received your permission slip featuring what I can only assume is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus.

Thank you for pre-ticking the permission box as this has saved me not only from having to make a choice, but also from having to make my own forty five degree downward stroke followed by a twenty percent longer forty five degree upward stroke. Without your guidance, I may have drawn a picture of a cactus wearing a hat by mistake.

As I trust my offspring’s ability to separate fact from fantasy, I am happy for him to participate in your indoctrination process on the proviso that all references to ‘Jesus’ are replaced with the term ‘Purportedly Magic Jew.’

Regards, David.

You can just tell it’s going to be fun, can’t you.

Read the whole thing here.

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2 Responses to Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight

  1. Laura Eno on August 6, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    It took me a long time to read his post as I had to keep stopping to wipe the tears from my eyes. Hilarious! Thanks for sharing that.

  2. alan on August 6, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    Glad you liked it. :)

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The Word

Welcome to the website of author Alan Baxter.

I write dark fantasy, sci fi and horror, ride a motorcycle and love my dog. I also teach Kung Fu, hence the Warrior Scribe tag above. A friend once referred to me that way and I liked it, so it stuck. Learn all about me and my work by clicking About Alan just below the header.

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