Monthly Archives: December 2006

Merry Yule

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December 23, 2006

I’m a cynic about many things, and Christmas is far from the lowest item on that list. However, if nothing else, it’s a time to forget about work for a day or two and make the most of your family and friends. So to all readers of The Word, a happy Christmas, and may you find health and happiness in the year ahead.

A brief interruption in the interrupted service

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December 17, 2006

I apologise for the extended gap in posts here at The Word. I did warn you all that postings would be infrequent at best, but I was hoping for slightly more than none in three weeks. However, the internet access in China was even less evident than last time I was there, so I had to let things slide.

I’m still overseas, but in the UK now which is considerably different to the small town of Sun Wui in Guangdong Province where I was until a few days ago. There are some strange similarities, but none worth drawing attention to. So, busy and moving around, postings will still be a little bit infrequent, but I’ll try to keep on top of things a bit more now.

So, without another word of apology or explanation, let me share a few items with you from the Chinese leg of my travels. It would be very easy to collect any number of hilariously worded signs that the Chinese have desperately tried to translate into English and mock them, but that would be a cheap shot, right? Right?

Well, all right, just a few then. I could have photographed any number of things, but I picked just a couple that really had me chuckling. Firstly, this from a hotel in Hua Dou. They seem to be rather mysoginistic as they have toilets for Men and

momen A brief interruption in the interrupted service

We got toilets for men and momen; we ain’t got nothin’ for the ladies.

Another one that really impressed me was this one:

cautttion A brief interruption in the interrupted service

It’s a really fancy sign, all gold and embossed, and something the owners must be very proud of. The grammar is obviously forgiveable; anybody that’s heard me trying to use my limited Chinese would know that I have no leg to stand on when it comes to that kind of criticism. Also, mistaking the word floor for ploor is equally forgiveable. It does make for a fairly amusing line, but nothing more. What really got me laughing was the three T’s in Caution. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a sign with a stutter.

Next up, here’s a selection of headlines from a magazine in Guangzhou. For some reason they seem to feel the need to have each article in English and Chinese, but the translations must have been done by one of those online places like Babelfish. Here’s a couple for your entertainment:

bus A brief interruption in the interrupted service

Love, just like waiting bus. And then three lovers all come along at once.

breast A brief interruption in the interrupted service

Does anyone know just what is the breast position in a man’s heart?

illness A brief interruption in the interrupted service

I’ve had lovers that made me sick after a while. Does that count?

This last one is brilliant – it almost enters the realm of the Haiku.

emptiness A brief interruption in the interrupted service

OK, that’s about it for now. I’ll try to update things more often, but I’m a realist and whenever I get to this country everything tends to be manic. Keep checking in all the same. Before I go , I’ll leave you with one more photo. This had me laughing for hours, but then I am easily amused. I took this on the small island of Peng Chau, just off Hong Kong. It’s the kind of bucking authority and disregard for the law that I really enjoy.

 A brief interruption in the interrupted service

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The website of author Alan Baxter

Alan Baxter, Author

Author of horror, dark fantasy & sci-fi. Kung Fu instructor. Personal Trainer. Motorcyclist. Dog lover. Gamer. Heavy metal fan. Britstralian. Misanthrope. Learn more about me and my work by clicking About Alan just below the header.

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